Press Releases28 Jul 08

Interviews from Lambeth: Mrs Mary Good

Mrs Mary Good, wife of the Bishop of Derry & Raphoe, talks to Church of Ireland Press Officer, Paul Harron, about the Spouses’ Lambeth Conference.

PH: A huge number of bishops’ spouses have also travelled to Canterbury during the Lambeth Conference – what is on offer for them?

MG: There is a full parallel programme for us. We meet in small spouses’ bible study groups, with the mix predetermined in the same way as the bishops. We are studying the same Lambeth Conference bible study notes, concentrating on Jesus’s ‘I am’ statements found in John’s Gospel. We are free to join in with the worship of the conference, but do not meet in ‘indaba’ groups. My own bible study group is made up of two Americans, two New Zealanders, one Madagascan and two Irish spouses – I think of myself as ‘Irish’ in this mix.

Our main Spouses’ Programme has a lot to offer. There are about 400 of us, including a small number of men. We meet in our own venue, gathering around circular tables which are set out with tea and coffee, so the set-up is convivial and geared towards easy conversation. Each day we have a talk by one or two of the spouses and then around our tables we discuss what seems relevant to us coming out of what has been shared from the platform. Our theme for last week was ‘The many parts of me’ and covered ‘What I’ve left behind’, ‘My calling’, ‘My vocation’ and ‘My world’, the last of which looked at climate change and our environmental responsibilities.

PH: What kind of things are you discovering from your meetings?

MG: I am struck by the totally diverse nature of our practical living situations. For some, being a ‘bishop’s wife’ is to be the ‘mother of all the village women’, and many in that situation have had to give up jobs and positions for which they are highly trained. Others in the West are professional, often working at a high level, and their role as a bishop’s spouse is not day-to-day, but perhaps more about accompanying the Bishop to civic and church events. One spouse may be in a position of major responsibility working for the UN, another is indeed acting as the ‘mother’ figure in a community. What we have in common is our shared love and desire to serve Christ as we are called by him where we are.

There are three predominant words which I’m starting to carry with me during my time here: ‘tables’, ‘stories’ and ‘vine’. The tables I’ve mentioned – their roundness allowing us all to meet together equally; ‘stories’ because we are all giving and receiving our stories; the vine relates to a work of art which we’ve been creating in response to the bible studies and the saying of Jesus, ‘I am the true vine’.

This vine symbolises how we are all part of Christ’s body. The vine is Christ and we are rooted in him – all different but all together. Every spouse is given different materials to make a leaf or leaves – many want to make more than one – which are added to the vine daily, so it’s growing all the time. I must say that the men are making the leaves too! This seven foot high vine resides in the spouses’ main meeting hall and we’ve very much enjoyed creating it. It will be photographed and we will retain the photo as a keepsake and reminder of our unity in Christ.

PH: This is your first experience of a Lambeth Conference: what were you expecting and how would you describe the atmosphere?

MG: I was apprehensive before coming as I hadn’t been before and, personally, I had a heaviness in my heart, with the current conflict among the Communion always at the back of my mind. I felt this, like many women I imagine, very much at the emotional level. Some may even have questioned Bishop Ken and me coming to the conference, but we felt very definitely that we wanted to be here – how can a conflict be resolved if you are not there? So, I was determined to come, and I know that God’s grace is present in the midst of conflict.

PH: Are the conflicting issues being talked about among the spouses?

MG: We have definitely begun to talk about them at our morning meetings. It is a painful process but we are respecting each other and trying to actually hear what others are saying. We are careful about what we say and take time to stop and ask, ‘are you hearing me correctly?’ We end each session with prayer, and when we’ve had a difficult conversation we ask each other at the next meeting how each one is doing. I do still feel sadness in my heart, but I am convinced that God is in it all; this is God’s church and as we listen to the Holy Spirit we will come through it.